Near the end of the semester, when my friend turned eighteen, his parents purchased a paintball gun as a birthday present. He was happy to finally be eighteen and he admired his present so much so that he wanted to show it to me right away. The following weekend he asked if we can spend time together. After school, we walked to his house. I brought some movies in my backpack so we can relax later on. He told me nobody was home, which made me nervous. We walked to his room where we both got comfortable. He said I could leave me backpack near his bed and he went into his closet and showed me his paintball gun. It had shiny blue paint and he smiled as we looked at it. Just as he put it on his desk, I pulled out the two movies from my backpack. My friend invited me to sit on his bed beside him once he played the first movie. There was a brief nudity scene showing a young woman's chest. My friend placed his hands over his crotch area. He looked away and I asked him if there was something. My graduation gown was the closest thing to a skirt or dress I wore since I outgrew your clothes. That is why I had picked that first time to tell you abut my inner feelings. Neither of us could of expected that the series of books you bought the subject on aids and such would drive me to the brink of suicide. That I would say anything to have the friendship we once had between us back.At this point I tried to be the man you wanted me to be while I started collage. That didn't last long before I started borrowed your pantyhose when alone in the house and enjoyed girl's fashion magazines again at school and later at work in Winn Dixie, before I took meals in my car. When time came to graduate BCC I found myself feeling the same things I felt after high school when the graduation committee wanted me to wear a suit and tie under my graduation gown. I couldn't get them to understand I'd rather cut my throat with a knife that put on a tie again. When I graduated from collage and started.
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